Oh, look at that, we matched.

On my Bumble profile I put in big letters


So, of course it brought out every guy that wanted to just hookup. I just recently found out that when you put ‘No Hookups’ on your profile that it actually means you want to hook up. I’m not quite sure who found the logic in that but I guess I missed the memo in Online Dating 101.

After a bunch of messages about hooking up from many random guys I get a message from Alen. Alen writes, “Wanna hook up? Lol. 😜”. At first, I was thinking ‘this stupid motherfucker!’ but the winky face made me respond with “clearly, you can read… what a relief too because I was scared I was gonna get matched with a guy that wasn’t only illiterate but also had a shitty sense of humor.” I thought for sure this would have scared him off. Nope. Not this guy. He responds a couple of hours later and asks if I want to meet up for coffee next week. (Again with the fucking coffee.) I tell him that I can probably do that. We continue to text throughout the week.

Judging him from the pics on his profile he’s okay looking. I’d give him about a 6.5 on a scale from 1 to 10. His eyes look REALLY big but he has an award winning smile. Alen is Persian Jew, 6 feet tall, great shape, active, works full time and is a student. But best of all, he’s sarcastic as fuck! I love this. Our banter is good. He’s not easily offended and neither am I.

The week is up and we’re suppose to meet for coffee. I get nervous. I cancel the night before. This doesn’t deter him. We continue to talk and text for another week and I cancel again. He’s still persistent on us getting together. The next time we plan, I cancel again. But this time I had good reason. I was gonna drive out to Vegas to visit a friend in the hospital. So to make it up and throw caution to the wind, I invite him to come with me. He accepts and then asks when we would be back. Fuck. He accepted and I invited. What the fuck was I thinking?! Lol. But don’t worry, those plans fell through. He had to be back at work before I was gonna be back in town. Luckily too, because I ended up not going.

In our many conversations, we realize his aunt lives just one mile from me. He calls me one morning at 8am on his way home from working overnight at the hospital. It woke me and I answered. He’s chipper. It’s too early for all that! He says to me, “Get up! I’m grabbing the dog from my aunt’s house and coming over.” Hello! What?! Again, this guy is persistent. He talks me out of bed and says he’s walking my way. (He only knows my street name and not my address.) I agree to take a walk with him. I rush in the shower, brush my teeth, get into some gym clothes, and throw my hair in a bun. I have no makeup on and this guy is about to see me in the flesh! That’s what he gets for waking me. Haha. I start walking his way and see him down the street. The closer we get to each other I realize this man is fucking gorgeous! He has these big beautiful light brown eyes, dark features, bald, maintained beard, big lips and a smile that’ll melt your heart. I laugh at how shocked I am. He goes in for a hug and says “about time”. Indeed it was about time. I had been blowing this guy off for well over a month. Why he’s so persistent I’ll never know.

We start walking and talking. Reiterating some of the things we’ve already talked about. Laughed. Talked shit to one another. We walk around my neighborhood for probably about 2 hours before heading back to my home. He’s very sweet. He says he’ll be respectful and not come in but just needs to use the bathroom. I allow him as I play with his dog outside.

We talk for another couple of hours outside of my home. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t tell you a word he said to this day but it felt like I was catching up with an old friend.

I’ve been looking for a larger place to move in the valley and he says he can show me around a few nice areas while he has errands to run. This isn’t normally like me. This man is a stranger and still I’m ecstatic to go with him and be in his presence. We leave together. In my car. We drive around Woodland Hills, run errands, go shopping and grab something to eat. We head back to his car which is parked at his aunt’s house and I invite him back to my place. I have office work to do and he has something for school that needed to be turned in.

Let me repeat, this is completely out of character for me. I don’t usually go places with strangers nor invite them into my home within the first few hours of meeting them.

We throw on a funny movie (I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell) and both start working. We finish around  the same time and decide to watch The Revenant. I hadn’t seen it yet but had just purchased the movie.

Omg, it was a great movie! Oh… movie is over.

Alen is in front of me sitting on the floor as I’m rubbing his shoulders. As soon as the movie was over he turns around, grabs me and gives me the most passionate kiss. Mind you, we’ve just spent an entire day together without any type of physical contact. It is now 10pm. His hands are placed at each side of my face as he’s kissing me. One moves to the back of my head and the other wrapped around my back. He pulls me in closer. This. Better. Not. Stop.

It doesn’t. The kissing goes on. It’s getting more passionate. He stands me up and takes off my shirt. I show no hesitation and remove his. It is officially hot and heavy! Bra is now on the floor and he is kissing my breasts. He bites my nipple. I let out a moan. He continues to kiss down my naval and removes my pants. He is enjoying every single inch of my body. He throws me on the bed and leaves nothing unexplored. Within minutes I’m having an orgasm. He doesn’t stop, I have another. I can’t take it anymore!!! I remove his pants to find a very large, very hard cock. We grab a condom (safety first) and he makes love to me. I say “make love” because this man took his time. He made sure that I was pleased. We had the most passionate, wildest sex ever. It was like hot movie sex. A little bit of spanking, choking, moaning and a whole lot of orgasms. I can only hope my neighbors didn’t hear us. Or better yet, that they did.

We finish. I’m sweaty, he’s sweaty. We lay there speechless. Fuck. I’m mind-blown! I cannot muster any words to say to this man at this point. So, I fall asleep in his arms.

I wake in the morning. Fuck. I hope I didn’t drool on his chest or snore. He’s still sleeping so I take a shower. When I get out, he grabs me and we go at it again. Thankfully, this time didn’t last as long. I needed to get to work. Now we both shower and attempt to get ready. We failed. Sex again. This man drives my body crazy!!!

We are finally able to get clothes on and get ready for work. He walks me to my car, kisses me goodbye and we part ways for the day.

I’m obsessed. I lust for this man. But I play it cool… I wait until he contacts me.

He does. A few hours later to thank me for an “incredible evening”. I return the compliment.

Alen is perfect for so many reason. Not only is he good looking and intelligent but he respects my time (or lack there of). He’s just as busy as I am. We plan on seeing each other again. And we do. To this day, we do. But we’ll talk more about him at a later post…