Facebook keeps us connected to friends, family and many people we don’t care about… Every now and again, I get a friend request or a message from a “blast from the past”. Lately, it’s been happening more and more. I’m not sure what Facebook has going on or how these people are finding me. I don’t even have the same last night as I did in high school and VERY few friends on my profile from back in the day. Most of my contacts are business related. Either way, we’ll start with the first of these “blasts” – David.  

David was my first hard core high school crush. I was a freshman and I believe he was two years older than me. All the girls crushed on him. If I’m being honest, I really don’t remember shit about him except that. We went out a couple of times and made out. It was short lived.

Fast forward to present day. You all know what’s going on with me – I left my home town, I got married, had children, divorced, work hard and now live in LA. There’s my synopsis. I’m rarely on Facebook. In fact, I don’t even have the app on my phone. I decided one evening of being bored to log on from my computer. There I see a friend request from David Bernal. I honestly thought he was someone else I knew (his cousin) and promptly accepted. Then, I get a message…

Wow! You are stunning! I can’t believe I found you. Do you remember me?

(Me thinking it is his cousin replies) “Thank you, you are too kind to say. Of course I remember you. How have you been?” I’m an idiot. I wish I hadn’t confused the two. David goes on to reminisce of our dates and some parties from high school. I have almost no recollection of what he’s talking about. I mean, this was 20 years ago! At this point, I realized who he was. I laugh. He goes on to say that he’s never forgotten about me and wishes we had been together and some more stupid shit. Seriously?! It’s been 20 years and our time together wasn’t more than a few dates! Not to sound insensitive but, COME ON!

Any way, I entertain the conversation for a couple of days. I find out he’s still in our shitty home town, going through a divorce, and not doing a gotdamn thing worth noting. His once boyishly good looks have escaped him and he has let himself go.

Around this same time, I get a text message from a random number saying it was David’s cousin [whom i confused David for previously]. He says my cousin gave him my number. (My cousin still lives back home.) On the text, they say “David said he’s talked with you.” I confirm. The conversation continues to ask if he’s been trying to get with me. I laugh and mention a couple of things. Then, my phone rings. It’s not David’s cousin. It’s his WIFE! She begins to tell me that she saw the messages David was sending me on Facebook and wanted to verify that I was not interested in him. She was very respectful. I apologized to her even though I had done nothing wrong. I felt bad that she had to deal with that bullshit. She continues to tell me that they are NOT getting a divorce and living together. I explain that I am not at all interested in him and will immediately block him. We end our conversation.

About 2 minutes later, David calls me. He got my fucking number from her. He apologizes to me and says that she lied and some other bullshit. I laugh and explain that I seriously do not care and that I have no interest in him whatsoever. I hang up and block both of their numbers.

Why me??? Why can’t I just not have a married guy be a douche bag? I don’t mind being friends with someone. Why doesn’t the married guy just put effort in his own marriage than someone he was with 20 years prior?! What fucking idiots these people are?

What are your thoughts? Why do people from your past go on Facebook and try to rekindle something? It’s not a dating site. My profile doesn’t even say I’m single. There are no provacative pictures of me. It’s all friends and family and posts about being a better human being. If anyone looked at my profile, you’d think they’d know to have their shit together before reaching out to me. I don’t surround myself with fucktards and digenerates.

Does anyone out there have some insight?